Thursday, June 30, 2005

Good Day to Die

My MP3 player has been telling me lately that "everyday should be a good day to die". Dave Mathews blurts it out whenever he sings You Never Know. I really like the version I have from his live concert at The Gorge, and its songs have been in my recent play lists quite a bit. I've never been to the Gorge, but it looks just beautiful (I got the concert DVD from the library, so not only was I able to hear the song, but see it as well).

"Everyday should be a good day to die" makes me think of Klingons. Now there was a magnificent race of beings. In a lot of ways I think I would like to be a Klingon, but of course when it comes right down to it, I am probably too much of a wimp. I wonder if Dave Mathews is a Klingon.

So, of course I get to thinking... what have I done today that would make it a "good day to die"? In other words, if I died today, what did I do to spend it in such a way that would make me proud of my last day on Earth?

The answer is ... Predictably ... "not much". I hugged kissed my wife and kids and told them I love them (i love them more than anything). I went to work, and basically made it through the day. I went home, hugged and kissed my wife and kids again. I ate supper ... some very yummy pasta shrimp meal that my wife makes. I played with Tyler. I cuddled and "goooed" with Connor. I read both boys a book or two. I brushed Tyler's teeth and put his jammies on him. Then, I went to Balley's and worked out while listening to my MP3 player (including Dave Mathews) . I came home and blogged a bit. After this I am going to bed.

If I don't wake up tomorrow, will I be in heaven thinking ... "man, I should have made more of my last day on earth" ???

Well, as it turns out, I did make it through the night. I saved this blog as a draft, went to bed, read some, stared at the ceiling contemplating whether it had been "a good day to die".

So, here is the thing: I have a great life. I have a wife and children I love with all my heart. I have a nice house in a nice neighborhood. I am pretty healthy and live in Colorado ... I used to DREAM I would someday live in Colorado. My job is pretty good. Most weekends I spend quality time with my family ... quite often in the mountains. My life is wonderful, but still, most days I do not go to bed with the feeling that the day was worthy of the tag "a good day to die".

Of course, most of Monday through Friday, I spend most of the day getting ready for work, working, coming home from work, working at home, or thinking about what I am going to do at work the next day. I am far from a work-a-holic, at least when I compare myself to other people I know, but still, I spend far much too time in employment mode to consider most days spectacular. And, I don't love my job. I think I used to love it, and it is still very good as far as jobs go, but it is not the sort of job where I get up in the morning excited about going in. It is not the sort of job where I come home at night and think ... "that was fun today, I can't wait to do that again". It is a typical job where I hate Mondays and live for going home on Friday afternoons for the weekend.

That being said, my typical work day has 24 hours in it.
Let's pretend that I get 8 hours of sleep. This is laughable considering it is 4:30 in the morning, I've been up since 3:30 or so, and I probably won't go to back to bed tonight, but let's pretend. That leaves 16 hours in my day.
Now, on a typical day, it probably takes me about 2 hours to get ready for work and travel to / from work. 14 hours left in my day.
I usually spend about 10 hours working a day. Sometimes less, sometimes considerably more. But I think 10 hours is a good average.

That leaves 4 hours a day for myself and my family. Factor in a meal, playing with the kids, letting my wife know I still exist (and that I know she exists), the health club, and my day is pretty much gone. Luckily, quite often I don't sleep, so that gives me a little extra "me" time, but quite often that extra "me" time is spent working or worrying about work.

I am not complaining. I know people who spend more time working (just about everyone in my office) and less time with family. My point is just that, on a typical workday, I just don't have time to do anything extrodinary enough to say "today was a good day to die". It is sad, but unless I find a job that I completely and utterly love, or I become independantly wealthy, and don't have to work, it is just never going to be the kind of life where everyday was the kind of day that I would consider a great last day.

I wonder if anyone out there has that kind of life.

click to show song

Monday, June 27, 2005


Apparently, it is currently cool to Blog. I am not sure I understand the point, but if it is cool, I had probably better do it. Actually, it is completely possible that I missed the window where it was cool, and now it is just plain and blah.
So, what do I want to blog? Perhaps it would be good to put things I think on my blog.

Or maybe, pictures and stories of my kids. That would be cool I think. I do have the cutest kids I've ever met.

I live in Colorado and do hike and camp in some of the most beautiful country in the world, so maybe I should post photos and descriptions of my Colorado Journeys.

And why is the blog better than a web-site to do this?

I admit that the technology is really cool. The low-cost nature appeals to me (this is currently free). We will have to see what I come up with. I am looking forward to exploring the possibilities.