Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Wasn't There

Yesterday upon the stair
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today
I wish that man would go away.

--William Hughes Mearns

The man who isn't there may be in cohoots with the Zizzer Zauzzer Zuzz and the Tweedle Beatles. He never looks all that suspicious, and anyone who never look suspicious must be up to something. He openly ignores me to the point that I know he must be spying on me. I just know it. Of course, I have no proof, so I can not come right out and do something to him. I have to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Yes, I usually meet him on stairs, but sometimes I'll be walking down the street (on the lookout for tweedle beetles) and I'll get this feeling that no one is watching me. It has to be the man who isn't there. Who else wouldn't be watching me?

Of course I still don't know for sure that the ZZZ is actually conspiring against me. I got an email from my sister not too long ago. My sister is the only person in the world who actually reads my blog. She often (well often compared to anyone else ... including the man who isn't there) emails me about my blogs. In the email she told me that her sons had been talking about the Zizzer Zauzer Zuzz lately and that she also was a bit suspicious about him. Well, that tends to validate my suspicions, but still I have no proof. It would, obviously, make lots of sense if the man who isn't there was working with the ZZZ by doing surveillance. Who knows how far the network of deceit goes?

It is also pretty obvious that if the man who isn't there is spying on me, he is also probably working with the Tweedle Beetles. They just work too much alike for it to be a coinincidence. So, if the ZZZ is in fact working with the man who isn't there, and if the man who isn't there is in fact working with the Tweedle Beetles, obviously, the ZZZ and the Tweedle Beetles are working together against me as well. This man... this missing piece of the puzzle (until the other day) is the single most concrete piece of evidence I have of this mass conspiracy.

I have to act quickly. I must do something. I have to protect myself from this syndicate of evil - doers. But what are they up to? What can I do to protect myself? What can I do to go on the offensive?

I don't know. Maybe I'll go to work.

Everyone be careful out there!