Tuesday, December 19, 2006


I lead this Semi-Charmed kind of life. Third Eye Blind came up with the phrase, but even before the song came out I always felt I had the Semi-Charmed life. Everything seems to work out for me. I've always sort of felt someone or something was looking out for me, because it seems that every situation turns out for the best. And it not as if I am some hyper-optimistic person. Things just always wok out for me better than I could ever imagine. Actually, I believe in many cases that if I chose how I would like things to turn out perfectly, they would probably turn out worse than they end up naturally. My life turns out better than I would know to choose for myself

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Bad day

I was up late last night working my non-paying job. When I got up today my wife told me the furnace was not working. While I was looking at it my wife told me that the car was not starting.

Somehow I got the furnace working, and had Tracy take me to the train. Now I just want to go back to sleep. It is going to be a long day.

The car needs fixing, and although the furnace is working right now, I do not think I permanently fixed it. I do not have time for things to break.

It is a beautiful day. I still want to go back to sleep.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Tablet Pc

Jim extremely under when by lulu PCS. I must he tumble hind unlay, bemire most of Me words A mite do not end up looking like wets intended. Sometimes, the st-pin thing yet's Me worn correct and then changes it when ) sure to the next wad.

Curlier today I tried writing to this boy with ^ PDA. It turned out even wise. I guess the tablet technology might be much letter to those with good handwriting. Wow! The sentence I just write was actually what A tried to write. I must be getting your ht this!! MAYBE Not.

wall, I yours that shins his been enough of this.


Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Ghost Busters

I saw a VW bug today with the Ghost Busters logo on its side. I took a picture of it.

When I got into work, I mentioned the sighting to Wes, my coworker. He looked it up... Ghost Busters came out in 1984.

Why would someone in 2006 have a Ghost Busters logo on their car?

Jerry, another coworker, had a theory. He asked if the car was dressed up for Halloween. I'm not sure I like the idea of weirdos 'dressing up' their cars for Halloween. Of course, have you ever met a VW Bug owner who was not at least just a little bit strange? It seems sort of like something my inlaws might do. They are not Bug owners, but they certainly are weird enough to do something like 'dressing up' their cars.

I can not imagine a person who loved that movie enough to have decorated their car as a tribute to the movie. I enjoyed the movie, but come ON. Maybe right after it came out, but not 22 years later. Of course, let's not forget what freaks Bug owners are in general.

My favortite theory is that there are real Ghost Busters running around downtown Denver. Lodo is pretty old with documented ghosts in several old buildings. I am pretty sure Molly Brown haunts an old brothel in town. Or maybe it is Molly Brown's old house that she haunts. Molly Brown lived in Denver after she went down with the titanic, didn't she?

Anyway, I just thought I would share my photo of the car. Maybe someday, I'll figure out what that is all about.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Snowy travel

This is the first snowy travel day of the season, so I am taking the light
rail. Back before I could deduct mileage, I rode the light rail just about
half the time. Since I became self-employed, I only take it on Rocky Home
Game days or real bad traffic days. Maybe now that I can blog from my phone
I'll do it more.

The problem with taking the light rail is that it takes a longer time to get
to and from work. The big advantage is that I don't actually have to drive.
Of course, I should be glad about how much gas I save, but unfortunately,
the $.45 per mile I am able to pay myself as my employer pretty much negates
that advantage. Perhaps I am way too attached to cold hard cash. It is
easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for me to enter
the kingdom of heaven. It is a good thing that with God all things are

Well, I am coming up on my stop. I will then have to walk through the snow
to my current client. It is a heck of a lot better than driving with the
weather-challenged drivers of Denver, though.

By the way, if you are looking for a smart phone , I completely endorse the
Motorola Q.


It is now time to go home. I never synced during the day so, my blog was
still in the outbox... And I can continue where I left off. Battery life on
this is not as good as it was on my old phone. This is actually because I
use the smart phone more than the stupid one. One nice thing, though is
that power come through the little mini-usb port, so I can charge up
anywhere i have my laptop (which Monday thru Friday is almost everywhere).

As of now, I still bring my mp3 player with me, but I have a 2 gb mini-sd
card ordered for my phone. I can load a bunch of music on the phone and not
need the player anymore. Of course I basically have ALL my music on the mp3
player, and the phone cannot hold everything. So, maybe I will just still
use the mp3 player. It is nice to have the option, though.

So, it is nice riding the light rail. I think I may make a special effort
to ride to work once or twice a week. Environmentalists probably are glad
I got the Q.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

My con man

My one year old is really learning to talk, and it is incredibly cute to see. Every chance he gets to use one of his words is an opportunity that he really seems to relish.

'No' is his favorite word. It used to be 'dada', but now I think I have to be content with a close second place.

Every time he goes into his room and sees his little heater, he points at it and tells me 'ha' (hot). He does the same thing when he sees the fireplace or the grill.

When Conner sees a hat, either a picture or a real one, he pats his head and says 'ha' (hat). I am not sure what would happen if he ran into a hot hat.

Connor's favorite book is 'Baker Baker Cookie Maker' because he knows how to say 'coocoo' (cookie monster).

Every day, the baby improves his talking skills. And amazingly enough, he just keeps getting cuter and cuter. I do not know how I became so lucky to live with this joy.

Incidentally, this is the second blog I have written on my smart phone and emailed to my blog to publish. I am really impressed at how this works. I also attached the photo above to the email, but it did not automatically publish the picture. That is somewhat disappointing, but probably understandable. Hopefully they will make the blog publish work with attached photos at some point. Anyway... isn't he just the cutest baby you have ever seen?

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Smart Phone

I am typing this blog on my new smart phone . It is really a neat little
piece of technology, but I am not sure it is worth the effort. It is sort
of overkill for what I really need it for. I still have the cheapest
wireless plan I have ever been able to find, and I could not bring myself
to pay for a web / data plan that will allow me to do much web serfing.

I do foresee myself developing little smart-phone apps for this, but without
wifi, I will be dependent on web services to do any client / server type
things ... And that costs me by the kb.

Unfortunately, the unlimited data plan with verizon seems ridiculously
expensive for what I would use it for. The web-browser seems awefully slow
for the price as well. I guess as I see how much I use this, I'll know and
can adjust.

This phone definantly has some cool features. I really like the sync
between outlook on my laptop and the phone. Although I am really
disappointed in the fact that the sync does not include notes. The phone
also does not come with a text editor. I really wanted to use the sync to
push important information form and to my phone such as account numbers and
stuff like that. Of course, I could download an app to do that or I could
even develop one myself, but it just seems that the smart phone software
should have included that.

But, for the most part, I am pretty pleased with the phone. I probably will
use it enough to be worth the extreme cost. It will be cool to have.

Friday, September 22, 2006


Skeleton Sheds Light on Ape-Man Species - NEWS - SCIENCE - Comcast.net

Australopithecus afarensis

Apparently, scientists found the remains of an Ape-Man (Ape-Girl) in Ethiopia sometime in the year 2000. They have taken over 5 years removing the body and apparently, the job will take several more years to complete. They are very excited about the find.

I'm not sure why this is listed as "news" on my comcast portal given that the find was made several years ago and that the body has not been completely removed, but that is not really what I am blogging about.

The article says that this Ape-Girl is about 3.3 million years old.

She was about 3 years old when she died (apparently).

3.3 MILLION years old.

I am 36 years old.

If you compare 3.3 million years to a 24 hour day, 36 years would represent a little less than one second of the day. All the years I have been alive could be gone in the time someone could say "one-thousand-one".

It is the year 2006. 2006 years corresponds to less than one minute on our cosmic clock. In turn, if you compare the age of the Earth (4.6 Billion Years old) to the 3.3 Million years of the little ape-girl from Ethiopia, we are talking only about one minute on THAT cosmic clock.

I guess I could look at this and feel insignificant. Scientists think that homo sapiens have only existed for about 50,000 years on an Earth that is 4.6 billion years old in an universe that is only 20 billion years old. And I have only existed 36 years. In the grand scheme of the universe, I am less than a blink of an eye.... a lot less than a blink.

But this does really make me think that insignificant. It does put me in awe of the God who created it all. I am amazed that the One who designed this universe and put it in motion has the capacity to look at me as special and important. To say that this capacity amazes me is so completely understating the situation that it is not really funny. There is probably not a word in the English language that communicates how awesome this is. I certainly do not have the capacity to see myself as wonderful as God apparently sees me.

Anyway, I hope the little 3-year old ape-girl had a happy, healthy life over her limited years. I hope her death was not too traumatic. I wonder if someday I will meet her in heaven.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Wasn't There

Yesterday upon the stair
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today
I wish that man would go away.

--William Hughes Mearns

The man who isn't there may be in cohoots with the Zizzer Zauzzer Zuzz and the Tweedle Beatles. He never looks all that suspicious, and anyone who never look suspicious must be up to something. He openly ignores me to the point that I know he must be spying on me. I just know it. Of course, I have no proof, so I can not come right out and do something to him. I have to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Yes, I usually meet him on stairs, but sometimes I'll be walking down the street (on the lookout for tweedle beetles) and I'll get this feeling that no one is watching me. It has to be the man who isn't there. Who else wouldn't be watching me?

Of course I still don't know for sure that the ZZZ is actually conspiring against me. I got an email from my sister not too long ago. My sister is the only person in the world who actually reads my blog. She often (well often compared to anyone else ... including the man who isn't there) emails me about my blogs. In the email she told me that her sons had been talking about the Zizzer Zauzer Zuzz lately and that she also was a bit suspicious about him. Well, that tends to validate my suspicions, but still I have no proof. It would, obviously, make lots of sense if the man who isn't there was working with the ZZZ by doing surveillance. Who knows how far the network of deceit goes?

It is also pretty obvious that if the man who isn't there is spying on me, he is also probably working with the Tweedle Beetles. They just work too much alike for it to be a coinincidence. So, if the ZZZ is in fact working with the man who isn't there, and if the man who isn't there is in fact working with the Tweedle Beetles, obviously, the ZZZ and the Tweedle Beetles are working together against me as well. This man... this missing piece of the puzzle (until the other day) is the single most concrete piece of evidence I have of this mass conspiracy.

I have to act quickly. I must do something. I have to protect myself from this syndicate of evil - doers. But what are they up to? What can I do to protect myself? What can I do to go on the offensive?

I don't know. Maybe I'll go to work.

Everyone be careful out there!

Sunday, June 25, 2006


I don't understand why anyone would want to live in Las Vegas.

My in-laws live here, and say they like it, but they also talk about hating the summer heat.

And that is my main complaint about this hell-on-earth: it is too damn hot! It is too damn hot. There are too many people. The pollution is horrible.

But mostly, it is too damn hot.

It is hot to the point that you want to stay in all day. I hate it.

Luckily, my in-laws have a pool. My guess is that anyone who can afford it has one out here. The pool has been fun for my kids and their cousins. Me too I guess. And, although I complain to my wife about having to do this stupid family reunion every two years, I really do enjoy seeing Tyler's and Connor's Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins. Despite the fact that this is the place in the country that I think most resembles hell, I had a good time here.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Zizzer Zazzer Zuzz

The Zizzer Zazzer Zuzz is a pleasant enough looking creature. He is always personable and polite and kind. But, for some reason I just don't trust him. I think maybe he is conspiring against me. He might be working in conjunction with the Tweedle Beatles. Or he might be working with the scarecrow people. I don't really know. All I really know is that I get this feeling that ZZZ is not totally honest with me. And my imagination carries me to the conclusion that not only is he not completely honest, but he is somehow actively trying to ruin my life.

The real problem is that I have no proof, and I really want to give him the benefit of the doubt. There are others in my life whom I trust who think the ZZZ is wonderful. But I just can not shake this feeling that he is trying to screw me. So, while I recognize that there are certain advantages to knowing and partnering with the ZZZ, I can not bring myself to completely take advantage of such a partnership.

Since I met the ZZZ, my life has taken a few very interesting twists. Partially, some might even say primary, thanks to the ZZZ, I am now able to breath under water and I am able to fly short distances through the air. You would think that those sort of powers would be extremely useful and that you could really do some great things with these particular super powers, but amazingly enough, I have not really found myself in situations where breathing under water or flying like superman really do me that much good. I know it sounds weird, but these have just not turned out to be that useful to me.

And while I fell that I should be thankful to the ZZZ for helping me develop these powers, the reality is that since I don't completely trust him, I feel more anger towards him than gratitude. If he is what he appears to be, this irrational distrust is unhealthy, and really is closing opportunities to me that would open wonder possibilities to me.

Who knows what this development do to me. It is probably nothing and there is nothing to fear. If I am right, though, who knows what the Zizzer Zazzer Zuzz will do to me. I should be extremely afraid.

Saturday, May 27, 2006


I was up at 3:00 yesterday morning, working on various things on my computer. I was a bit bummed out because I had no campsite reserved for Memorial Day Weekend. I had just put it off until Monday or Tuesday of this week and there was nothing left. That is the problem with on-line reservations, they are just so easy to do that you have to get them in very early.

Before the kids, I would have just packed up the truck and gone off with Tracy to some remote jeep trail or even found a nice Backpacking trail, but with the kids, I feel I need a campsite reservation. So, I was a little depressed that I was going to spend the whole long weekend at home. Goodness knows I could use some time in the yard, I have a bunch of "Honey Do" things to do, but long weekends are meant to go off somewhere.

So I signed onto Priceline.com, put in $35 a night for the Breckenridge area and tried to see if I could get a good hotel price. I got rejected, but for some reason, Priceline gave me a second chance if I increased my requested price by $6, and $41 got me two nights in the Holiday Inn at Lake Dillon. For whatever reason, I can always get great prices (great compared to other mountain places to stay). So, at 6:30 or, I told Tracy to pack up for two days ... we are leaving this afternoon.

This is how most of our vacations go, I'll decide I want to get going and we go. We have little or no idea what we are going to do when we get there. We just go.

And it always turns out great. I always feel like we should have planned better, but I never have a disappointing trip like this. There are some people I know who just cannot imagine taking this kind of trip without planning every moment. I wonder how people like that are ever able to have any kind of fun. Oh well.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Baby Adventure

I am sitting here watching my adventurous baby. He has to be the cutest baby in the world. I know I am a little biased, but really, he has to be the cutest. In fact he is probably the cutest baby ever. I used to think that was Tyler, but I think Connor has him beat by a little bit. I am truly blessed with my children.

Connor (my adventurous baby) is crawling around the family room, pulling himself up on things (furniture and the like). This game seems to amuse him quite a bit and he keeps looking at me with the proud look on his face as if to say "look at me Daddy". And of course I tell him how wonderful he is to do such amazing things. I mean, come on, how many babies are able to pull themselves up on things?

I had to pause the blog for a few minutes. Did you miss me? My adventurous little boy decided to go up the stairs into the kitchen and then crawl around in circles through the living room, into Tyler's Spiderman tent, into the dining room, back into the kitchen and then make the whole circle again. He is not walking, yet, but he is certainly able to get around.

His fascination with the steps is sort of fun, but a little scary as well. He is talented enough to climb all the steps in our house, but not quite experienced enough to know that you don't try to sit halfway up on the step before the one he is actually on. So, we have to supervise the climbs. It is fun to watch him climbing the stairs. I imagine him as a mountain climber. Maybe someday he will climb 14ers with me.

Once Connor was done lapping through the rooms on our kitchen level, he decided it was time to climb the bigger stairway to our bedroom level and go into the bathroom. This apparently is one of his favorite activities. He loves to climb up those steps and he really loves to go into the bathroom and put things in the bath tub. I am not sure what is so fun about that, but it obviously is a blast.

After that, he went into his room, crawled to his nightstand and grabbed his tooth brush. The tooth brush is probably his favorite toy right now. He really likes getting his teeth brushed or even brushing his own teeth.

Unrelated to this adventure, Connor's other favorite toy is the dishwasher. I imagine that if Connor could find a dishwasher full of toothbrushes, he would be really excited.

Another pause in the blog. The adventure continued. Up the stairs down the stairs standing up sitting down. Grabbing and playing. Giggling and squealing. I wish I could find so much fun in the ordinary world around me.

Connor is currently in Tyler's room playing with Tyler's toys. Tyler is not around and I am not really supervising. I am listening to him talk to the toys. His voice is probably best described as gleeful; at least his current voice.

Now Connor is back in my room (where I am typing this). The baby still does not talk in English, but he does talk a bunch in his own language. it is pretty cute.

Anyway.... I guess I will close out these ramblings. This probably is not as interesting a story as I intended it to be, but trust me, that has more to do with my writing skills than the subject.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

He is Risen

He is risen indeed.

Yes, today is Easter. For those of us who call ourselves Christians, this is the most spectacularly important and joyous day of the year. Personally, I automatically get tears in my eyes two Sundays a year. I am not one to cry much, but as I've gotten older, gotten married, especially had kids, my eyes "well up" with tears more and more often. I think the kids do it to me the most. Still, I am not what you would call an overly emotional guy. But I've always had to fight tears (or at least as long as I can remember) on Palm Sunday, and Easter. If I'm not careful, someone will notice someday that I am balling while I am pretending to sing:

"Jesus Christ is risen today, Alleluia! our triumphant holy day, Alleluia! who did once upon the cross, Alleluia! suffer to redeem our loss. Alleluia!"

I guess you could call them tears of joy, but at least partially they are tears of guilt. I like to think I would give my life for my wife or kids. If I had a chance, I probably would. But to suffer and die for the guy down the street or the homeless guy or the guy who punched me in the face, spit on me, laughed at me, and tortured me, is incomprehensible to me. I almost certainly would not do that.

Luckily Jesus did that for me, so it is not something I really have to worry about too much, but it isn't just literally about giving up your life for my neighbor (everyone). I am sure that Jesus would like me to sacrifice more of my time, money, effort, (blood, sweet, and tears) to other people.

I am pretty sure that I give more money to my church and other organizations who do Jesus work than most people. But, money is easy. Especially when I can just write the check, put it in and envelop and just forget about it. And of course, I don't just forget about it. Quite often I think "that could go to Tyler's or Connor's education" or "boy would a big-screen TV have been nice with some of that money" or "why can't I have a nice new mountain bike like this guy". And the truth is, I give a lot, but I have more. Tyler and Connor each have more in their college accounts than the average 18 year old college-bound kid has (and they are 4 and 1). I have 2 TVs and both are more than adequate. My mountain bike needs new shocks, but other than that is fine for what I do with it.

And I am blessed in all kinds of ways. Wife, kids, life, leisure time, money. Honestly, I "have it all". I do not think that anything has ever happened to me that did not turn out for the best. I've never had to struggle making ends meet. I've only really lost one person I've truly loved to death (before a natural time where you can say "it was his (or her) time").

In fact, I am a little worried as I go through the beatitudes that I am in a little bit of trouble when I reach the pearly gates.

  • Blessed are the poor: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. All things considered, I am wealthy.
  • Blessed are the meek: for they shall posses the land. I am somewhat humble, but I just get the feeling I am to really what Jesus had in mind when he referred to the meek.
  • Blessed are they who mourn: for they shall be comforted. As I wrote before, I've only really had to mourn once in my life, and I've made peace with that long ago.
  • Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after justice: for they shall have their fill. I can't say I hunger or thirst for justice. I certainly do not go very far out of my way to help people persecuted throughout the world.
  • Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy. How often do I tell someone that I am not going to give them money to get on the bus?
  • Blessed are the clean of heart: for they shall see God. My heart is not that pure.
  • Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. Well, I very rarely instigate conflict. I do try to make peace when I get a chance. But, it the conflict is not directly affecting me, I try to stay out of the way.
  • Blessed are they that suffer persecution for justice' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. I have never been persecuted in any manner.

There are millions of people suffering in the world, and these are the people that Jesus was uplifting in his beatitudes. I just am not one of the suffering people.

But, here is the beautiful part of Easter: I am not perfect, but I don't have to be. Jesus was for me. That is pretty amazing. It is something that quite frankly, most people don't completely understand. I can not say I completely understand it. In fact, I probably understand just a very small part of God's mercy.

And, all that is ok because Jesus is risen.

Anyway, in a few minutes, I will go to church, complain about all the two-time-a-year churchgoers. I will sit in the crowded sanctuary with my wife and kids, rejoice and sing, and be happy. And, I am going to cry. No one will probably notice, but I will cry. If anyone does notice and asks, I will say (mostly truthfully) that they are tears of joy. They may be touched or they may think "what a woman", but I don't really care.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Male Grizzlies

This weekend I was attacked by a huge male Grizzly bear. He might have been protecting a little Grizzly cub who was crawling around the area. Something about these two bears reminded me of the male African lions who attacked me last weekend. (Click here for that story). I'm getting too old to be attacked by wild animals every weekend.

But, this time as the huge bear was charging, I had a "Brother Bear" type experience. All of a sudden, I became a bear. Pretty freaky, but at the time, I didn't complain, I just used my newly discovered talent to protect myself. Shape-of-a-Grizzly-Bear!

It was an epic battle. When I became a bear, I became one that was much bigger and stronger than even the huge bear that had attacked. He was persistent, though. No matter how many times I pushed him away, he kept coming.

Even with my bear-shape, I am sore from the battle today.

I hope someday to find out how wild animals keep getting in my house. I'm not sure how many of these I can survive.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Dell Part II

Sheppy's Blog: Dell

So, Dell had me reinstall windows again. I did it. I was still having problems. I called the next day to complain and now they are sending me a brand new computer. It will be the exact specifications that I ordered with this current computer.

As I mentioned, I have a co-worker with the exact same computer and basically running the same software who had no problems, so I should be fine, but I have a bit of a nagging doubt that the new computer might have the same problems.

I hope not.

But for right now, I am happy with Dell.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006


Here I am running hardware diagnostics on my brand new Dell computer. So far, all the tests have passed and I am on the last one (Hard Drive) before the guy on the line tells me that my problem is software. The thing is... I really believe that even if it is software, it is software that Dell provided me. I am sort of pissed at the moment that the last tech support person I talked to didn't have me try this before she had me reinstall windows. Yes, the last tech support person had me reinstall windows and other factory installed software. I've spent more time trouble shooting this brand new (two weeks old yesterday) computer than I've spent troubleshooting all other computers in my life. And, I am a bit suspicious that some of the software I've installed isn't all that stable, but then, I had it all running on my last Dell computer with no problems. AND it is software that I need for my job. AND it is software that a friend / coworker of mine is running on the exact model of computer I am using. I don't know... I am just killing time here while the diagnostics run. At this point, I hate Dell and will probably never buy another. I want to return this piece of crap, but I'm not exactly sure they'll let me if their diagnostic tool doesn't show there is a problem.

Probably not since their warranty says under "Things that are not covered":
Software, including the operating system and software added to the Dell-branded hardware products through our factory-integration system, third-party software, or the reloading of software

What kind of idiot am I buy an expensive laptop computer that doesn't even guarantee that it will work with the software they install. I guess I am screwed.

And then... what do I do for a laptop?

This damn thing is only 38% done. I hate Dell.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Male Lions

I was attacked and mauled by a couple of wild, vicious, African male lions in my own home yesterday after supper. It was a terrifying experience. One was much bigger than the other. In fact I think the littler one wasn't much more than a baby. He was, in fact pretty cute, but once he saw what the bigger one was doing, he joined in with a savagery that made me think he was trying to imitate the big one. Maybe they were brothers and the little brother was trying impress his bigger brother.

Anyway, the big one started by charging at me with a blood-curdling roar and his long sharp teeth and claws chomping and slashing toward me. I fought him off as well as I could. In fact, I felt I had things under control until the little one started in as well. The big one kept knocking me over and the little one kept clawing and biting at me while I was down.

The roars of these lions were enough to wake the dead. Actually, I don't think the little one would have been so bad, but when he joined in with the bigger, I really felt like screaming in terror. In fact, I did scream for help.

One thing I didn't know until last night is that male lions sometimes wear batman pajamas. Apparently, they also wear batman underwear. Pretty weird, huh? I also didn't know until last night is that some male lions have only a few teeth and drool something horrible. It only makes getting attacked that much more frightening.

Another thing about wild African lions that surprised me is that they are surprisingly proficient at speaking English! I mean, I've seen Lion King, and those lions talked, but I thought Disney took some liberties when it made those lions speak. No, lions actually know English! The larger of the two lions kept saying things like "I'm a big male lion and I'm grumpy!" Even the little one seemed to say "Da Da Da Da Da," quite a bit.

I also found out that my wife doesn't really care if I get attacked or even eaten by wild animals. I keep screaming for help and she just kept on washing dishes. Washing dishes is one of her favorite activities, but I always thought that if my life was in danger, she would do something or at least be a little worried about me. She was so into her dishes that my cries for help barely even registered with her, and she just ignored my situation.

After what seemed like hours of unrelenting attack, I was finally able to stop the bloodshed by agreeing to read a children's' magazine to the two lions. The magazine had an article in it about lions. Apparently wild African lions enjoy hearing about themselves. I am battered and bloody, but I survived. I don't think I'll ever be quite the same, though.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Tweedle beetles

I've been watching out for the tweedle beetles. It is difficult because they are sneaky. Whenever you look for them, they scatter. Who knows where they go? To make matters worse, whenever they walk around in downtown Denver (maybe other cities as well) they are in disguise! Sometimes they look like big fat men. Sometimes they look like skinny little girls. Sometimes they look like homeless guys or women. Sometimes they look like regular beetles. Differentiating between tweedle beetles in disguise and everyone else is not easy. There is a subtle look in their eyes which is hard to pick up without experience in this sort of thing. And it is hard to see their eyes while they are scattering.

One way you know for sure you are looking at a tweedle beetle is if it is in a bottle with other tweedle beetles having a paddle battle. Quite often the bottle is on a poodle. Sometimes, the poodle is eating noodles. If there is a fox in sox in the bottle with them and a knox is walking away from the bottle, you can be almost certain that you are looking at tweedle beetles. In fact, I've never ever ever heard of this happening with anything but tweedle beetles.

Unfortunately, it is somewhat rare that just walking around downtown, tweedle beetles behave like that. As I said above, they are usually in disguise. Now, I've never had a tweedle beetle do anything physically to me while I'm walking around, but then I look out for them. I hardly ever let my guard down, so it could be that the tweedle beetles are looking for easier marks. I suppose it is possible that the reason I have not had problems with tweedle beetles is that they are, in fact, harmless. But what is the likelihood of that? I certainly don't trust a whole group of organism that wander around in disguise.

You shouldn't either. Watch out for those tweedle beetles.

When Tweedle beetles battle with paddles in a bottle and the bottle is on a poodle and the poodle is eating noodles, they call this a Tweedle beetle puddle paddle noodle poodle battle.

Dr. Seuss

Tuesday, February 28, 2006


People who say "irregardless" annoy me.

When someone says "irregardless" to me, I want to look them in the eye, and ask them:

"Do you know what responsible means?"

After they answer, I would ask:

"Do you know what irresponsible means?"

If they did not catch on I would have to go on:

"Do you know what regardless means?"

They may explain, and of course I would have to say something like:

"And why are you using irregardless where you mean regardless?"

Actually the word irregardless is somewhat interesting to me. If you look it up in a dictionary, or at least this is the case with the dictionaries that I have looked it up in, it will tell you that irregardless is non-standard and that it means regardless. Why? Why does irregardless and regardless mean the same thing? And why do some people use the longer word?

Dictionary.com says that it is probably a blend of irrespective and regardless, and that many mistakenly believe it is correctly used in formal style (I know some of those people... I've never been rude enough to correct them ... I probably should ... it would be a favor to them).

To me, it is extremely bizzare example of a double negative. In grade school I remember teachers and other students correcting kids who said things like "I don't got no pencil" by telling them how absurd it is to use double negatives. "Don't" and "no" cancel each other out, so what you are really saying is that you have a pencil. I'll bet that many of the same self-righteous know-it-alls who took pleasure in correcting "don't got no" have grown up and are the very people who use the prefix "ir" and the suffix "less" in the same word.

Irregardless of anything, I am now a business owner. I left the company with which I have been employeed since 1999 (7 years) to do exactly the same thing I was doing before. Several people suggested that as an independent contractor, it would be beneficial it I started an S-Corp of 1 person (me) rather than go and make deals as an individual. So, I am now the owner and sole employee of SheppyTect Solutions, Inc. http://www.sheppytect.com .

It is extremely easy to become incorporated. In colorado, all you have to do it go online, fill out a form, pay $25 and suddenly, there you are. Then, go to the IRS online and fill out a form for your EIN. Then, go and set up a small-business checking account and you are there. I still have to submit a form 2553 to the IRS to get the "S" designation. I'm not sure what will happen if I don't do that in time. I think it will make my life much more complicated than I want. I need to get it sent in before March 15th for the designation to take effect this tax year.

It is sort of fun being a business owner. It doesn't really seem real; it is almost like I am playing at being one. The fact that I am one person and a Corportation seems somewhat amusing to me. Pretty soon, I'll be writing myself pay-checks, re-imbursement myself expenses, charging myself rent for my home office. It all just seems sort of bizzare.

Well, that is it for now. Take care.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Happy New Year

I got up this morning at about 3, because my baby boy was crying.

My oldest son could sleep through anything at this age (around 9 months) and would hardly ever wake up before a reasonable hour. Even when Tyler did wake up during the night, he would not bother us. He would just talk to himself for awhile and then go back to sleep.

Connor, on the other hand, seems to wake up at any little noise and SCREAMS. Sometimes, he'll suck his thumb and go back to sleep on his own, but sometimes (like last night) he won't stop until he is picked up and comforted. The whole process doesn't take more than about 15 minutes (usually), but that is 15 minutes during prime sleeping time. And most nights he makes it through the night just fine. No big deal... Tyler was just a better sleeper at this age.

Anyway, I don't sleep well after I get up at night. To be honest, it isn't usually Connor's fault. I just often cannot get to sleep. Too many things run through my mind, I guess. Sometimes something is bothering me. Sometimes I am excited about something. Sometimes, I am just not able to get back to sleep.

So, after laying in bed until about 4:15 or so, I got up, took a long shower, got dressed, and went to work. I took the train into work today and listened to my MP3 player. There is something comforting about riding the train in the dark and listening to music. I don't know what it is. I just like it.

One of the songs that I listen to was Nirvana "Smells like teen spirit". I don't understand any of the words, and I have no idea what it is actually about, but I really like the song.

The kingdom of Shep is like "Smells like teen spirit". I hardly ever understand what is going on, but I sure am enjoying it.

(I still don't really know what the darn song means)