Thursday, February 12, 2009

It is not true

I don't get "brain freezes". I never have. Personally, I do not think they actually exist. The whole concept of a "brain freeze" is just one big conspiracy. Apparently people decided to claim that if they eat something cold too fast, it causes a quick, sharp pain to the head. It does not happen to me, so the only thing I can conclude is that brain freezes don't actually exist and for some reason hundreds if not thousands of people are lying to me when they describe the phenomenon. Why would the world "at large" go to such a huge extent to perpetrate such a myth aimed primarily (as far as I can tell) at me? I do not know. If you claim to get brain freezes, why do you do it? NOTE: I have been told that only 1 in 3 people actually get "brain freezes" and that I am not that unusual for never having one. I swear I have never actually had someone say "me neither" when I mention that I do not get brain freezes. My sample size is not HUGE, but it is big enough that if 1 in 3 were actually the number, I would have come across a few people who have never gotten them. More proof that the whole thing is a big hoax.

I also doubt that such a thing as "heart burn" exists. Well, actually, let me qualify that. My wife described a sensation she called heart burn when she was pregnant and I do not think she was making that up. I do think a pregnant woman can get an unpleasant feeling due to large creatures growing and moving around in a space usually taken up mostly by internal organs. Something has to give in that sort of situation, and I can see moving digestive organs causing burning sensations all over the place. I do believe that pregnant woman feel all kinds of unpleasant things, and I do believe one of those feelings can be heart burn. But, I myself have never had heart burn, so I think that it is a myth that it can occur without some sort of major anomaly going on in the body such as a growing and kicking child or a pig swallowed whole or perhaps an alien parasite getting ready to burst out (like in Alien). Anyone who does not have something extraordinary going on inside must be lying when they claim heart burn.

I do not believe people can trip over untied shoelaces. Again, it has never happened to me, so it must be impossible. Do, however, always make sure your shoelaces stay tied when riding a bike. They can get tangled in the peddles, and that can get dangerous.

I do not believe people can get addicted to coffee or any form of caffeine.

Cutting onions never makes me cry, so obviously they don't have that power like people say.

I do not think cigarettes are as impossible to give up as people say. Of course, having never even tried a cigarette, I have no basis for that disbelief. Forget I said that.

The saying "lefty-loosey, righty-tighty" is a complete myth. When you turn something in a circle you are turning left, right, up, down and in all 360 degrees at once depending on what point on the outside of the circle you are talking about.

I do not think anyone out there actually likes Survivor or American Idol or any other of these "reality T.V." shows that have shown up on the airwaves over the past several years. I would not be surprised if a huge part of the problem with the economy is that networks play more and more of these shows despite the fact that no one actually likes them. Because no one likes them, no one pays attention to the advertisements and so they buy nothing. Thus, companies do not sell their products. People get laid off. People without jobs have extra time on their hands and have to watch the reality shows (it seems like very little else is on) and so, the downward spiral self-perpetuates.

I have a similar feeling for Soap Operas. At least the soaps do not come on in prime time.

If Obama wants to make a difference based on television, I do not think he should extend the digital T.V. conversion. Instead, I think he should ban reality shows and soap operas. I wonder if T.V. executives would be able to fill the time with something worthwhile or if they are going to have to come up with something even worse. Doesn't matter. Obama should make them shut off programming if they cannot come up with something worthwhile.

Anyway.... if you are indeed someone who perpetuates these myths. Please stop. Especially the "lefty-loosey, righty-tighty" myth. I hate that one.

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